My Mom's Memo
The one I frequently use
On this Mother’s Day, I’m sharing one of the pieces of wisdom I return to most when I feel lost — sometimes physically, but more often emotionally. This one came from my own mother.
It was dark, rainy, and bumpy. Sometime in the mid-90s.
My mother was driving, with me as the only passenger. We weren’t sure where we were. No GPS back then. Not even a cell phone.
I’m pretty sure we didn’t have a map, either.
What I did know was that we weren’t too far from our destination—one we had never been to before. It was in a rural part of Thailand, maybe two hours outside of Bangkok. Think thatched roofs, water buffalo in rice fields. Dirt roads.
Just pitch dark. And wet.
I was starting to get uncomfortable. Uncertainty has never been a good friend of mine. I could sense her anxiety too—not dramatically, just a low hum of discomfort.
“Are we lost?” I finally broke the silence.
“No! We are not lost!” she answered with surprising cheerfulness.
“So you know where you’re going?” I asked, half statement, half question.
“Not really,” she said. “But we can’t be lost when we’ve never been here before. We’ll find our way!”
My whole body relaxed. I was no longer worried because we were just finding our way, in a new place. No. Big. Deal.
Lost vs. looking. Fear vs. anticipation.
That one reframe has stayed with me ever since. It eases my anxiety when I don’t know where I’m going. It calms my nerves when I worry about what might happen next.
If it’s a new situation—a new place, new people, a new experience—it is impossible to be lost if we’ve never been there before.
Trust that there’s a way.
Trust that you will find your way.
Being lost is optional.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers—those with children, those with pets, and those who show up as mother figures to anyone needing encouragement and comfort, love and support.
We’re here to walk each other home.
With love,
xoxo
Dr. Kit