A Grand Idea!

Feeding different hungers

Feb 13, 2026

If it feels like I’ve been talking more about food over here, you’re not wrong.

I’ve been writing a lot about sugar and chocolate, cakes and coffee. There’s also the accidental diet — that dark cloud of memory that still lingers, reminding me how deeply I never want to return to unnecessary restriction of any kind. Food or otherwise.

And yet… memory lingers to remind me of something else, too.

Of how we used to care for our babies when they were hungry — and how perhaps that’s the way we can care for ourselves now.

Remember?

When it was mealtime, we would feed them.

If they weren’t hungry for food, we checked what else they needed.

A new diaper.
A hug.
A nap.
Their favorite blanket or stuffed animal.
A song, a story, a lullaby.
Maybe just some fresh air or a change of scenery.

My journey with food has helped me understand the complexity of hunger — not just hunger for food, but hunger for comfort, connection, rest, safety, pleasure, and belonging.

So often what shows up as hunger is really an unmet need.

But in the moment, it can be hard to discern what that need actually is. So we reach for the easiest, closest comforting thing — which is often something edible. Something filling. Something that feels like we are being cared for.

A warm cookie with milk.
Pie with ice cream.
Bread with butter.
Gooey grilled cheese and tomato soup.

But if you’re not physically hungry, food can’t satisfy your heart hunger, your touch hunger, or your mind hunger. That’s when it starts to feel like you’re feeding a bottomless pit.

That’s when a binge happens outside your will.
That’s when you feel out of control around food.

Because it’s not food you’re looking for.

In midlife, our senses come online in new ways. It can feel overwhelming to decipher what we truly need.

If you didn’t know there are at least nine different types of hunger, you’re not alone. Most people don’t!

But I’ll bet you’ve noticed how your “hungers” are changing in this chapter.

You may want different things now to feel alive, fulfilled, whole.

You no longer want to waste time on activities, relationships, or obligations that don’t nourish you.

You protect your energy more intentionally.
You create stronger boundaries.
You speak up where you used to stay silent.

These are all ways you are learning to honor your different hungers — most of them have nothing to do with food.

And most of them can be satisfied over coffee with friends, a solo trip, a warm bath, or a hike in the mountains. You might find that most midlife hungers require more autonomy. They also want deeper, more meaningful connections.

Most importantly, this chapter of life have hungers that want to be fed reciprocity, freedom, and sovereignty.

We want to feel seen and understood.
We want to feel full — and fulfilled.
We want to belong in a safe space where others share the same sentiments.

And I have a feeling we’re hungrier than we’ve ever been.

I’ve got a grand idea how to feed us!

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